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The Top 16
"Worst Breakup Excuses"

16> "Ow... I banged my head! That really hurt!
Hey... who are YOU?

15> "I'm sorry, but there just isn't room in my
life right now for both you and my vibrator."

14> "I've got this disease... it's called herpigonasyphalaids.
Very contagious."

13> "You're too young for me. I mean, too *old*. We're the same age?
Well, that doesn't work for me, either."

12> "We're just so different, you and I. You're an extrovert, I'm an introvert.
I like classical, you like heavy metal. And of course *I'm* not a physically repulsive raving psychopath."

11> "You've gone from 'sponge-worthy' to merely 'spongy.'"

10> "Dear Christine: By the time you read this I'll be a woman..."

9> "I have early-onset onanism."

8> "You're no longer the wealthy, gullible, and desperately
lonely man I fell in love with."

7> "My penis, uh, fell off, and I, er, lost it...
yeah -- on the subway, I think."

6> "Less filling? LESS FILLING??? I don't even
know who you ARE anymore!"

5> "My dog is having puppies and I need to take a year
off in order to train them to attack your picture."

4> "It's not *you*, it's me. Specifically, me would like to sleep with your sister."

3> "I had lunch at the Hunan Palace today and according to
the place mat, you're a snake and I'm a mongoose."

2> "We just don't have anything in common anymore -- you're
a morning person, and I want to see your
severed head impaled on a steel railroad spike."

and Topfive.com's Number 1 Worst Breakup Excuse...

1> "I'm holding you back from all the other lives you could be ruining."

Thank you Chris White!

[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]

[ Copyright 2001 by Chris White ]

Top Ten Breakup Songs (Brought to you courtesy of: Breakup-Songs.com)

1. Even Now - Barry Manilow
2. One Last Cry - Brian McKnight
3. Ex-Factor - Lauryn Hill
4. Ex-Girlfriend - No Doubt
5. Don't Speak - No Doubt
6. You Were Mine - Dixie Chicks
7. Let Me Let Go - Faith Hill
8. Still - Brian McKnight
9. I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor
10. I Would've Loved You Anyway - Trisha Yearwood

Top Five Breakup Books

1. How to Get Over a Breakup
2. How to STOP a Breakup and Win Your Ex Back
3. And the Frog Shit on the Princess (for women only!)
4. Exes are from Uranus (for men only!)
5. Save Your Marriage

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