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Why
Romance Dies
(c) by Rinatta Paries, 1998-2002. Do you know how to attract
your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how
to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can
teach you the skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy
partnerships. Visit www.WhatItTakes.com where you'll find quizes, classes,
advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love
magnet(tm)"
Are
you in a relationship where the flames of romance are starting to go out?
Or are you single and have a hard time believing romance can last longer
than a few months into a relationship?
Romance is how most relationships begin. We anticipate being with our partner,
give flowers, write cards, shower each other with attention and affection,
stage seductions, etc. But somewhere down the road, the romance begins to
fade. It happens so often that it seems ordinary, expected, natural.
But why? Don't we all -- men and women alike -- dream of an eternal love
affair? Don't we all enter into a relationship hoping THIS person will be
the one to love us for a lifetime?
Doesn't it feel wrong when romance fades? Don't you feel somehow wrong when
you no longer want to spend as much time with your partner? When you are
no longer as attentive, thoughtful? Doesn't it feel wrong when your partner
no longer does the nice things he or she use to do?
It's not natural for romance to die in a relationship. After all, isn't romance
simply a way we appreciate, treasure and love one another? Then as romance
begins to fade, it is informing us that our feelings for each other are begging
to fade as well. This often happens in the course of a relationship. We feel
less for our partner, we become numb, we wall up.
There are three major reasons why we feel less in a relationship over time:
disappointment, hurt and taking each other for granted.
1. Disappointment
People and relationships disappoint us over time. There is no way around
it. In the beginning of a relationship we put our partner up on a pedestal.
Over time, as our partner reveals more and more human characteristics, we
get disappointed. With disappointment, we feel less exited, less enthusiastic
about our partner.
2. Hurt
Hurt happens in every relationship -- more often in relationships that aren't
very good in the first place. We get hurt over broken promises and forgotten
occasions. We get hurt by the things our partner says or does not say. We
get hurt about not getting our needs met. Hurt shuts us down and makes us
want to wall up.
3. Taking each other for granted
Ok, so you are in a relationship, maybe you are even married. All the hard
work is done, right? Your or your partner's focus is elsewhere -- on your
job, kids, friends, hobbies, etc. The relationship will still be there, right?
And as you and your partner take each other for granted, you create hurt
and disappointment, again leading to diminished feelings about each other.
Now you understand why romance fades in some relationships, maybe even in
your relationship. But what can you do about it? What can you do to revive
your feelings about each other and bring romance back?
Divorce/Break-Up
Recovery
Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries
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Top
Ten Breakup Songs (Brought to you courtesy of:
Breakup-Songs.com)
1.
Even Now - Barry
Manilow
2. One Last Cry -
Brian McKnight
3. Ex-Factor - Lauryn
Hill
4. Ex-Girlfriend - No
Doubt
5. Don't Speak - No
Doubt
6. You Were Mine
- Dixie Chicks
7. Let Me Let Go -
Faith Hill
8. Still - Brian
McKnight
9. I Will Survive -
Gloria Gaynor
10. I Would've Loved You
Anyway - Trisha Yearwood
Top Five
Breakup Books
1.
How to Get Over a Breakup
2. How to STOP a Breakup and Win Your Ex
Back
3. And the Frog Shit on the Princess (for
women only!)
4. Exes are from Uranus (for men only!)
5.
Save
Your Marriage
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