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To Those of You Whose Ex Has A New Mate

Posted by Missy on 4/10, 8:31 pm

DON'T SWEAT IT!!! Rather than roughing the pain of a break-up or failed relationship alone, they have decided to just run to someone else. We all know what that's called - a rebound relationship. Even when they stay or even get married, it always leads to divorce or break-up. Why? Because after a relationship, you need time to reflect on the mistakes you made so that they don't happen again. But people who are egotistical or in denial refuse to admit that they could possibly have done anything wrong. So they go on like nothing ever happened. And guess what? They end up making the same mistakes all over again.

Some of them actually wise up after a while and realize that they made a huge mistake by bailing out. But that doesn't happen if they see you out on the street moping, hair uncombed, with a hump in your back because you've spent so much time staring at the ground. So what do you do when you feel like all your confidence and dignity is gone? I've seen countless posts on here about how great the ex was, how he/she was so great, so successful. As I was asking Rochelle, aren't you great? Aren't you successful? Aren't you beautiful? Yes, you are. So stop giving them all the credit and save some for yourself. Start by writing down all the great things about you..how you're smart, pretty, loyal, have a good heart, patient, athletic, whatever. Then write down your faults...that you're too emotional, too clingy sometimes, maybe a little forgetful, whatever. I bet you hands down that the good things far outweigh the bad. And that, yes, sometimes the bad can be annoying, but you're worth it. Then do the same with the ex. You'll realize that, hey, this guy/girl wasn't so great. He/she did this, did that. Why was I blowing him/her up so much?

Then know that whatever fun they're having now is temporary, especially if they cheated or lied to you when they got with this new person. Because God doesn't like ugly and neither does karma. What goes around comes around threefold. So while you're crying now, yes, they are smiling. But you have years of happiness ahead of you if you do good to others and work hard, and they have years ahead of regret for mistreating you and refusing to put in the hours for the reward. What would you rather have, a year of joy and fifty of pain, or one year of abject misery and fifty of pure bliss? Take your pick.

And if you really are the best of the best for them, they will find out soon enough. It might not be for a few weeks, months, or even years, but it will hit them someday. And while you're off in your permanent, stable, happy new relationship, they will be bitter with regret, wondering why they have to settle for bronze when they could've had gold.

Remember, one man's trash is another's treasure. And when your ex sees someone picking you up off the curb and taking you home, they are going to start wondering, "Maybe I shouldn't have thrown that away."

It happens over and over again. People lose sight of the big picture and go for the quick reward. But having a few bucks in your pocket now doesn't come close to having a million in the bank for the rest of your life.

So let them smile while you cry. Because they'll be crying for a lot longer than they ever smiled. And you'll be smiling for a lot longer than you ever cried.

1. Even Now - Barry Manilow
2. One Last Cry - Brian McKnight
3. Ex-Factor - Lauryn Hill
4. Ex-Girlfriend - No Doubt
5. Don't Speak - No Doubt
6. You Were Mine - Dixie Chicks
7. Let Me Let Go - Faith Hill
8. Still - Brian McKnight
9. I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor
10. I Would've Loved You Anyway - Trisha Yearwood

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1. How to Get Over a Breakup
2. How to STOP a Breakup and Win Your Ex Back
3. And the Frog Shit on the Princess (for women only!)
4. Exes are from Uranus (for men only!)
5. Save Your Marriage

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