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Break-up Survival Guide

Unfortunately, sometimes relationships end. When they do, the breakup can cause much pain to either or both partners for a significant length of time. If you are someone who has recently ended a relationship or if you know someone who has, this week's newsletter will help you or them deal with the pain of a breakup.

The following is a list of suggestions for people ending a long-term relationship:

Remember that you…

* will feel pain

* have survived this type of pain before and will this time as well

* will feel lonely

* have survived feeling lonely before and will again

* are ok and lovable

Accept that…

* the relationship is over

* your ex partner has both good and bad qualities; do not idealize or discount him/her

Focus on your…

* self

* personal growth

* self care

Complete with your…

* self

* your ex

Own…

* the magnificence of who you are

* your part in the relationship break up

Give yourself time to…

* grieve

* be alone

* recover

Make sure that you…

* get touch, from friends or a body therapist

* have someone to come home to sometimes, such a relative or a friend

Reinvent your…

* community

* self

* future

* dreams

The following is a list of suggestions for people ending a short-term relationship:

Realize that…

* the pain you feel is not about your ex partner, but about your past

* if you start healing your past the pain will subside

* holding on to anger at an ex partner will keep you attached and in pain

Complete with…

* your ex partner

* all of your ex partners

* your parents

Give yourself the…

* room to grieve

* room to grow

Build for yourself a…

* community

* self esteem

* a life that you love

Whether you are ending a long term or a short term relationship…

* don't look for a new relationship until you are done grieving

* trust that when ready you will attract the right partner

* welcome the pain as an opportunity to evolve

It's through self evolution that you will be able to create a great relationship you dream of.

Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries

"Copyright Rinatta Paries, 1998-01. This article was originally published  by Coach Rinatta Paries in The Relationship Coach Newsletter, designed to inspire, educate and coach both singles and couples in attracting and sustaining healthy, loving, fulfilling relationships. To have this weekly e-zine delivered to your e-mail, subscribe at www.WhatItTakes.com."

1. Even Now - Barry Manilow
2. One Last Cry - Brian McKnight
3. Ex-Factor - Lauryn Hill
4. Ex-Girlfriend - No Doubt
5. Don't Speak - No Doubt
6. You Were Mine - Dixie Chicks
7. Let Me Let Go - Faith Hill
8. Still - Brian McKnight
9. I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor
10. I Would've Loved You Anyway - Trisha Yearwood

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1. How to Get Over a Breakup
2. How to STOP a Breakup and Win Your Ex Back
3. And the Frog Shit on the Princess (for women only!)
4. Exes are from Uranus (for men only!)
5. Save Your Marriage

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