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Ten Ways to Blow It in a Relationship
(c) by Rinatta Paries, 1998-2002. Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit www.WhatItTakes.com where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)"

A reader of the Relationship Coach Newsletter wrote in last week with the following question

What do you do when you've done a lot of work and attracted a lovely person and now you're terrified you're going to blow it? Or, terrified it's going to end.

In response, below is a list of top ten ways to blow it in a relationship right from the start.

Top ten ways to blow it in a relationship right from the start.

1.  Assume the person is your soul mate immediately upon meeting or shortly thereafter.  Look for signs that faith has brought you together and be amazed by the correlations in your lives.

2. Forget about your life, your friends, your self care.  When you have a soul mate, why would you need a life outside of the relationship?

3. Reveal everything, and test your partner with your worst behavior.  Let it all hang out.  After all, if he or she is truly your soul mate, he or she will love you no matter what.

4. Have sex right away.  If you are meant to be together for a lifetime, might as well get started on the fun part right away.

5. Ignore anything about your partner that does not mesh with your values, lifestyle, belief system.  True love can conquer such insignificant differences.

6. Do lots of drama together.  Job, family, life crisis are a great way to establish a relationship and test if you are meant to be together.

7. Spend as much time together as possible.  When it's true love, you can't bear to let your partner out of your sight.

8. Ignore behavior that crosses your boundaries or hurts your feelings.  It's true love, so it's ok.

9. Lavish a huge amount of attention on your partner or expect a huge amount of attention to be lavished on you.  How else would you act if you finally found your soul mate?

10.  Push the relationship forward and demand that it go deeper, in spite of where your partner is emotionally.  You have the right to have the relationship be exactly how you want it to be and your soul mate owes you that.

Listed above are pretty much the only ways to blow it in a relationship.  If you want even more insurance that your new relationship has every chance of making it, be

* Honest

* Communicative

* Clear about your needs and boundaries

*  A good listener

On the other hand, your relationship may end no matter what you do.  Being in fear about it actually makes the end more likely.  To eradicate the fear, let go of the attachment that the person you are with be THE right person.  Simply be with him or her a day at a time.

Weekly Coaching Challenge

Ok, honestly now - which beliefs/behaviors out of the top ten list above are second nature to you?  Can you come up with alternative beliefs/behaviors that can be more productive in helping you create a healthy relationship? Write to Coach@WhatItTakes.com  about what you learn and experience as a result.

Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries

1. Even Now - Barry Manilow
2. One Last Cry - Brian McKnight
3. Ex-Factor - Lauryn Hill
4. Ex-Girlfriend - No Doubt
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6. You Were Mine - Dixie Chicks
7. Let Me Let Go - Faith Hill
8. Still - Brian McKnight
9. I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor
10. I Would've Loved You Anyway - Trisha Yearwood

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